I am still trying to get my body back into some sort of pre-Ellis state. I am eating much better and slowly loosing the pounds. Weight is currently 12st 6lb and I am aiming for 11st 7lb by the end of July. I think I can do it.
Mum has already started with the bluffing me to see if I will bite. The most recent conversation was that Mum said she thinks I will only have Ellis. I play along and wind her up that she is probably right, and that I am finding having one hard enough let alone 2. Little does she know that I can't wait to have a bigger family. I think 2 may be enough though but we will have to wait and see. I know Rob isn't keen to have anymore and I'm not sure if that is for financial reasons or not.
Money is very tight at the moment yet we don't seem to be able to change our standard of living. We are eating up all of our savings and it wont be long before it's all gone. Not much I can do about it apart from go back to work but I don't really see that as the best option. I didn't have Ellis for someone else to bring him up 70% of the time.
Jaidan is having a 4d scan done next week and I think I would really love to have that done next time but it costs £190 and we just couldn't afford that.
I really do want a boy next time. The reason being that I would love to buy a girl all new girly things and we just don't have the extra cash for it. So it would be much easier to have a boy and just use all the things that we have.
I'm still feeling really excited about being pregnant again. I hope it is a good one as I couldn't bare the thought of being really sick and having a bad pelvis again while taking care of a toddler. It will be lush though. Hopefully I wont get so big next time.
Went to see Nic in hospital with her new daughter and my God did it hit home! It was so strange to look at her and think that I was in the same situation less than 10 months ago. It almost feels like an outer body experience, when I look back at my memories it is like I am looking in on someone else going through it all. Things will be different next time as Rob will have Ellis to sort out too and I will hopefully be home sooner than a week and will have 2 children to care for. How do you juggle your time with them? I'm not worried about the house so much, it's spending quality time with them that matters the most.
I wonder what it will be? I wonder what it will look like? I wonder how I will get on this time? I wonder how I will cope with 2? I wonder how long it will take to get pregnant? Only time will tell I suppose.
4 years ago
