IDIOT! - 2 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

What a fool! I calculated my ovulation dates wrong so we are now 2 days in to O days.

All going well so fingers crossed.

WEIGHT 4 - 1 WEEK, 6 DAYS

I have finally reached my target weight of 11st 7 lbs. I started working at loosing weight on the 19th April when I was 13st 1lb and I finished on 27th August. I just need to maintain the weight and tone up all the bits that are a bit more wobbly than they used to be.

Going to do new 0 week pictures and figures to reflect the change in weight.

I think what helped with the last couple of pound was the fact that I had finished breastfeeding Ellis. This seems to have been the turning point to the last little bit. I was still eating and exercising the same so that is the only thing I can think of that has changed.

Not long until O Day again. Best build up Rob's energy supply!

BABY WILSON - 1 WEEK

Went to see Jaidan today and her new baby boy, not yet named. He was so tiny and cute. I don't remember Ellis being that small, ever, because I think you are just so busy trying to recover and get through each day.



Plus to start with, it is just a baby and you are just doing a job and trying to get as much rest as possible. I would like to think that I skip that part and move straight on to bonding with my new son/daughter. I think it's easier when their little characters start to show though.



Seeing Jaidan in pain from her c-section certainly brought back memories. It was awful. I couldn't walk, get up or down, move in bed or do anything really. It isn't the best way to start motherhood, or the first few weeks of your newborns life.



I can't wait to have another baby but I realise it will be very different this time and much harder with Ellis too. He is a really good boy but I can see from my visit today, that it will certainly be very hectic.



I am sure I am going to go for a natural birth now. I just think the recovery time after is so much better. I might not be able to sit down comfortably for a bit but it will be much better than recovering from a c-section.



Jaidan is at that point in breast feeding, where when they first latch on it really hurts and makes your toes curl under. It lasted for about 3 days for me. I was hoping next time would be easier but Debs and Jaidan have both said that it is just as hard. Ah well, I know what to expect.



Davina McCall on Big Brother just said Dollop! Then she said she loves that word, DOLLOP! Might be a sign!

FINGERS CROSSED - 5 DAYS

Period finished yesterday and it wasn't too bad. Not painful but quite heavy for a couple of days.

I think this month we wont just try on ovulation dates as I think it's a bit too clinical. But having said that, at least we put the effort in on those days. If we leave it to pot luck, I think it might take a very long time.

Feeling very drained today so I hope I'm not coming down with something.

Fingers and toes crossed that we manage to create a new life this month. Would be lush to add to the family soon. I don't want too big an age gap between kiddies.

I so hope it doesn't take 6 months or longer! I suppose I just need to be patient and take it each day/month as it comes.

RUBBISH - 1 DAY

Been feeling rather rubbish today. Period is a constant reminder that I'm not pregnant.

Think I have this virus thing that Ellis had. Sore throat, neck, head and stuff. Rob has it too.

Spent the day with Mum wanting to chat to her about it all but couldn't.

The last couple of days I've been going crazy getting the house tidy and a bit cleaner. It needs a really good spring clean really, like cleaning in cupboards and hoovering under all the furniture but I just can't do it all.

Rob is away on a stag do so I have the house to myself which is actually okay.

Wish we could come into some money. Would be nice to just feel financially secure and able to buy little things every now and then without worrying about the consequences. Rob is working hard for that.

DOWN

I was really down all day yesterday and chatting to Mum I really wanted to tell her why but couldn't.

In my last diary, Rob said I sounded like we had been trying for 6 months already with no success. But that is how it feels. I have been thinking and preparing since the beginning of April so it has been a long time for me.

Trying to feel and be a bit more laid back about it, and hopefully it will happen before Christmas.

I was hoping that the due date wouldn't be around Ellis' birthday as we have quite a bit on in August now and a new member would just add to the load. But then again I wouldn't complain if I got pregnant around that time anyway.

Rob is away this weekend which isn't that nice for me or Ellis, but hopefully it will do Rob some good to have some down time.

BOO! PERIOD!

FUNNY

Feeling really funny this morning. Hot flushes and period cramps. It feels like my period is coming! Oh no!

Rather strange feelings, dizzy one minute, okay the next. Been wanting to get a lie down but Ellis hasn't allowed me too.

Been peeing all day too! Perhaps I've increased my fluid intake and that's why. I'm certainly not used to going so often.

Boobs aren't tender. Last time that was my major symptom. I had the most tender boobs ever! Maybe because I am breast feeding still it wont be as bad.

Only 4 days to find out, possibly less if I come on before then.

Discharge is normal.

HURRY

No symptoms today, boo!

I've been feeling really tired and weeing all the time but that's about it. Hurry up Sunday!

Weighed this morning and I'm 11st 9lb, hurrah!

STRANGE

Feeling very strange today. I feel like my blood is boiling and I have a little furnace inside, and I just feel rather lethargic. Could be a cold coming, could be a build up to my period, or I could be pregnant!

Although I am reasonably convinced that I am anyway, I can't be 100% sure as there are a lot of bugs and stuff going around at the moment.

Rob and I agreed that we will do a test on Sunday night if I haven't come on by then. I can't wait that long!

CONVINCED

I am getting more and more convinced that we have been successful. My boobs are starting to become tender, boobs are slightly swollen, my nipple has gone purple twice now and it hasn't done that since I was pregnant the first time. I have also had a few twinges and pains today which could be implantation.

Will hopefully find out next Sunday. I have to wait until then as Rob is away on a stag do. I hate waiting. I want to know now! I am quite sure though.

Rob asked me tonight if I really did think I was. I said I really do this time. I will be gob smacked if I'm not.

The thing is, that even if I am, it is such early days and so much can go wrong or happen in the next 10 weeks. It's really scary but there isn't much point in dwelling on it.

Can't wait to talk about it with my friends.

Well happy and excited but worried about the changes ahead. How will I cope? How will it effect things with Ellis? I hope it all turns out good.

I love the fact that I think about it all the time too. I was worrying that I wouldn't have time for it. That hasn't been a problem so far as it's all I can think of.

Haven't been able to stop eating since Ellis' party on Sunday but I will do my best to get back into eating well and doing more exercise. I will post an update soon.

OVULATION OVER

4 DAYS IN