The last few days have really taken it out of me. My head feels like it is about to explode. I really think I need to turn off for a while or hit the refresh button or something.
I was going to do a video diary as there is so much to talk about but I thought I might just waffle on too much so it will be easier to keep to the point if I'm typing it all out.
I think I have already mentioned that I started to wash the baby clothes. Here is a video of it all, and thanks to my Mum for ironing everything for me! xxx
Monday morning I completed my birth plan, with the help of Vivien my yoga and active birthing teacher, and this is it:
Michelle (MUSH) George’s Birth Plan
In preparation for this birth, I have attended active labour classes. I would prefer to have an active birth – moving around, kneeling, using my birthing ball etc. My preference is for as natural a birth as possible. Nevertheless, I understand that I may require pain relief and/or medical intervention if the birth is difficult.
I would like my husband Rob to accompany and support me throughout my labour.
I would like to avoid lying on my back. If I need to lie down, I would like it to be on my side if possible. Please can the lights be kept subdued throughout, including after the birth.
I would prefer not to have internal examinations. If an examination is required, I would like it to be carried out in the position that I am in at the time, where possible.
For natural pain relief, I plan to use breathing techniques, a TENS machine, a heat pack and massage etc. I am happy to try gas and air. Please do NOT offer me any other medical pain relief unless I ask for it.
If an epidural becomes necessary I would like it to be as low a dose as possible so that I can continue to feel my legs and be aware of contractions. I would prefer for it to wear off for the second stage as I would like to be able to push my baby out myself.
I would like intervention in the birth to be kept as minimal as safety allows, with foetal monitoring that enables me to remain active and mobile. If any medical intervention is necessary, I would like to be clearly informed of the benefits, the risks and the alternatives so I can make informed decisions with my husband.
If Oxytocin is needed during the labour I would still like to be able to move around, so please use a long tube and attach the drip to my arm as opposed to my hand.
I would prefer for my baby to be delivered onto the floor/bed in front of me to allow me to bring him to my skin myself.
It is my intention to breastfeed and I wish to do so as soon as possible. I would like to try to breastfeed without assistance and will ask if I require any help.
My husband and I would like to spend some quiet time alone with our baby as soon as is safely possible.
Third Stage of Labour
I would prefer to have an unassisted third stage of labour and Rob would like to cut the umbilical cord once it has stopped pulsating. However, if the midwife feels that it is necessary, or if I feel too exhausted to deliver the placenta naturally, then I would like to wait until the umbilical cord has stopped pulsating and been cut, before the injection is administered.
My preference is for our baby to be administered with the vitamin K injection.
Cesarean Section
I would prefer not to have a screen obscuring the delivery.
I would like the umbilical cord to be clamped as far away as possible from our baby to allow him to benefit from the cord blood.
I would like to be handed my baby as soon as possible and I am happy for him to be cleaned up later.
I would like to be talked through the cesarean procedure while it is happening to allow me understand what is being done.At my midwife appointment in the afternoon, I showed her the above and all she said was, I should keep an open mind.
Blood pressure reading was 132/78 which was up again from the previous appointment, and my bump was measuring slightly under at 34cm, instead of just over 35cm. The midwife had a feel and said she was sure he was head down. I even had a feel myself and I was in agreement that I could feel a neck and shoulder shape down on my right hand side. We heard the heartbeat again but it wasn't as loud as I have heard it before.
My blood test results were in, and apparently according to the midwife, I am disgustingly healthy and that the results were very good. Of course I immediately got on the phone to tell Rob.
In the evening I went to my yoga class and felt really energetic. I had a really good work out and a laugh at Vivien's expense.
Tuesday was a busy day and it didn't start all that well. Rob was home and I dragged him along to the last antenatal class which was about when the baby comes home. It was rubbish to say the least and Rob said that it was the biggest waste of his life ever. The only good thing that happened was that I exchanged numbers with a few ladies and we arranged to meet up the following Tuesday. I will ask if they can do Monday afternoons as this would be a lot easier for me.
When we arrived home, Ellis hadn't been to sleep and I knew that he would be a handful for Sharon who was looking after him in the afternoon. So this would mean putting him down in Sophie's bed.
We stuffed some lunch in and shipped Ellis off to Sharon's house. I put him down in Sophie's bed and he screamed! He wasn't very happy about it and kept shouting for Mummy and then Daddy. It was quite upsetting but after 5 minutes he was quiet, and I felt it was okay to go. Thank you Sharon for taking care of my baby for me. xxx
We were really lucky with the parking at the hospital and arrived just ahead of our appointment. We had to wait ages to be called in and when we did it was the fastest appointment I had ever had. The lady who did the scan was really nice but very quick. I got onto the bed in an unusual way too and pulled something. I think in the rush I didn't think properly about getting on sensibly.
The lady measured his thigh bone at 66.8mm and tried to measure his head but it was just too far down. His belly measured 291mm. He was head down with his spine running along my right hand side and his limbs were over on the left. Placenta had also moved into the correct position so all in all, it was good news.
We did see his face for a brief second and he had chubby cheeks, a little nose and big lips. She said he was practicing his breathing as his mouth was open. Here is the picture but it isn't that clear. I think he looks just like Ellis.
I then had to do a wee sample. I had been going to the toilet all morning so I was a bit worried about this. I had literally just been before the scan but I think because the head was so low it was pushing every last drop out and I managed to do a sample with no problems.
We were in the waiting room for 30 seconds before being called back in to see the consultant. What they do is sit you in a room with your name on the door, take your blood pressure and then you wait some more. My blood pressure was the best yet at 110/65. I think I get reverse white coat syndrome.
The consultant came in with a student doctor, and ran through the results of the scan, which was good news as I wouldn't need to have a c-section. I have had a few people say to me, was I disappointed really, would I have been happier for the decision to just be taken out of my hands etc, and I can honestly say, hell no! There are a few reasons why I wouldn't want a c-section, but if it does happen in the end, I will just have to get over it. Does it matter really? In the whole scheme of things, as long as the baby is born okay, I shouldn't really care. I recovered last time, and although it will be so much harder second time around, I will recover again and live to tell the tale.
Things will definitely be different this time around. I asked if I could wait for Rob to get home before coming into the hospital, but I was advised that if I am contracting, I will have to go straight in to be monitored. She said I would be connected to a monitor and I in turn said that's fine but I want to be able to walk around and be as active as possible. She then looked at me like I had just grown horns! I don't think she was used to someone knowing so much and having an opinion on it all. This upset me as she just wasn't very positive or open to what I wanted. I got the feeling she would just rather I went for a c-section and leave it at that.
I was asked if I would want to be induced if I went overdue, and I said yes please. They would do this by checking my cervix and if able, they would break my waters and hang up a hormone drip.
Another thing that sounds horrid to me is that I will have to have an internal examination every 3 hours to see how I am progressing. It isn't a case of letting my body do it's job. I will basically be on a countdown and if they feel I haven't progressed enough, they will take me into surgery. Unfortunately all this information doesn't help me to relax, which is the main thing I need to do in order for my body to do its thing in the first place.
If my waters break, and the fluid is clear, as long as I am not contracting, I can stay at home, waiting for Rob or getting stuff sorted. I will have to ring the delivery suite first to check that is okay.
We were given statistics regarding the chances of my scar rupturing, and luckily Rob was there to pick up that she had given us the wrong information. The student doctor gave us the correct figures of 2:1,000 for a normal labour and 4:1,000 for an induced labour.
The student doctor then had a prod of my bump and measured me even smaller than my midwife at 33cm, but the consultant said that the scan showed normal growth of the baby.
I have another hospital appointment on the 28th May as they were fully booked on 26th May, thank God as that is my 30th birthday. I will be 40 weeks and 6 days.
I left feeling rather upset and disheartened. I'm not sure what I was expecting really, but I had a good cry about it but it didn't make me feel any better. I spoke to Mum for ages too and she tried her best to put it all into perspective, but at the time I was just too caught up in it all. I sound so dramatic about it I know, but when you go from wanting a natural home birth to a hospital birth with constant monitoring and a higher chance for further intervention/surgery it is a bit disappointing. I know I need to look at the bigger picture and just make sure that Dollop and I get through this okay, and that's all that matters.
The traffic on the way back to Sharon's was crap so we didn't get there until gone 4pm I think. I had a yum yum, which helped me a bit and a quick chat with Sally and Sharon.
Last night I went to my active birthing class. I am slowly moving towards the door now which is rather scary. From last week one of the other VBAC girls had given birth via c-section as her baby was stuck and not coming out. It was a boy that she called Harry. Sarah (the other VBAC) and myself, looked at each other and said "0ne down, two to go!" It's really nice as we sit by each other and have had a similar experience in the past and want the same experience going forward. She also said I have a very neat bump which was nice.
The whole evening was spent trying to sort our heads out. About not dwelling on what happened last time and not thinking about what it is going to be like this time. We can't change what our bodies will do and we can't predict it, and we can't change what the hospital will do either so we just need to deal with the situation as it is and do what we can, which is to stay calm, relaxed and to just concentrate on breathing through each contraction. Easier said than done, so what I need to do now is sort out all the thoughts that are bouncing around in my head and just concentrate on the job in hand.
We ended the night by watching a DVD and eating chocolate. What a brilliant way to finish.
