DADDY FELT IT - 19 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

BUGGY - 19 WEEKS, 1 DAY

Still not feeling any real movement and certainly not on a regular basis. With Ellis, from about 16 weeks onwards, I felt him all the time. Very strange.

Had a really good Christmas and I have been feeling much better recently.

I have my first physio session on Wednesday but at the moment I'm not having any problems. I hope they don't just leave me too it.

Rob and I ordered the double buggy today. We think we got a good price but I need to speak to Jaidan to find out what she paid.

We ordered the Phil & Ted 3 wheel sport in black with the baby cocoon.



Really looking forward to the 20 week scan, but also worried too. Not sure if we are taking Ellis with us or not yet. I would rather not take him but Rob would.

Bump still goes up and down. This morning I just looked a bit bloated but by the time the evening arrives, it is rather round and sticking out. My belly button is well weird this time too. It has been sticking out since the early days, and last time it didn't stick out at all.

I watched quite a few old videos tonight of when Ellis was first born. It is quite scary how big I was and also looking back, I can't remember what to do! With Ellis I felt reasonably confident about how to look after him, and what I planned to do, but this time around I just don't have a clue. I'm sure it will all be fine.

1:10,000 - 18 WEEKS, 1 DAY

I was 18 weeks pregnant yesterday! I can't believe how quickly it is going by.

Not feeling too bad. Had a bit of sickness yesterday and my pelvis has been playing up a little bit. I have been doing quite a lot of physical things in the last few days so maybe I should take it easy.

Today I have done tons of housework. I have made a small dent in it but there is still loads more to do. Rob said he was going to take Ellis out tomorrow so that should help me to get on with it.

Bump seems to go up and down. I'm not as big as I was last time which is actually good news. My face is starting to fill out a bit but Rob doesn't agree.

Still not really feeling much movement, and in fact the last few days, I haven't felt any which has made me a bit worried.

Phoned the midwife yesterday and received good news about the Downs Syndrome screening. There is a 1:10,000 chance of the baby having Downs Syndrome. For Ellis is was 1:3,500 so the odds are looking quite good.

Just over 2 weeks until the 20 week scan and I can't wait to find out what it is. I feel like it is a girl. Rob, my brother Craig and sister Kate think it is a boy. It wouldn't bother me what it is this time around.

BED - 17 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

Feeling fine and everything seems to be going well. I'm sure I can feel movement although not proper kicks yet.

I have a small bump now which is nice but I can still hide it if I want to and I am still in my size 12 jeans which is amazing compared to last time.

Naomi said that she didn't tell anyone until she was 20 weeks! For one thing, how on earth could you keep it secret for that long? I would be bursting! And the second thing, where did she hide her bump? And if she didn't have a bump, then why the hell not?

Eating has gone a bit wrong since Friday so need to get back on the wagon as such. Need to eat better and less snacking.

Had a couple of funny turns recently which may be related to food but not sure. Just came over all dizzy about 3 times but it passes really quickly.

Yoga last night was brilliant. I felt like I had a really good work out and I enjoyed it. No pain in my pelvis at all today so that is really good news.

I have a line dance tomorrow night but I will still take it steady and I wont be doing as many spins as I normally do. To be honest, I have cut out a lot of spins already.

Getting really excited about the 20 week scan now. So much is going to happen in the next few weeks, it's going to be amazing.

I have to phone the midwife on Thursday to get the Downs Syndrome blood test results. I'm a bit nervous but remaining positive.

Rob is away tonight so I have the bed to myself which should be nice. Although last time I woke up having a nightmare and then I couldn't get back to sleep as I was worrying that someone was trying to break-in!

HEARTBEAT - 16 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

Had my second midwife appointment last night.

We arrived on time, and Judith didn't take long before calling us in.

She took some of my blood to do the screening for Downs Syndrome and then I laid on the bed and we listened to the heart for the first time. It was just as amazing as the first time with Ellis. Little Dollop didn't like being poked and had a little wriggle.



Next appointment isn't until the end of February now! That is ages away.

Blood pressure was still normal, 120/70, which was good news.

The last couple of days have been a bit of a struggle. I've been feeling really sick and not really wanting to eat or drink even. I was sick a bit at Sharon's house during Mummy afternoon and then again at the doctors. Not very nice. I hope it is pregnancy related and that I don't pass a bug onto anyone. Feeling slightly better today and I have managed to have a bit of breakfast.

Pelvis seems to be much better, touch wood. I am going to attempt line dancing on Wednesday and see how I get on. I think I will take it steady for the first week back.

I have two Christmas parties this week and I have nothing to wear! Maternity stuff is way too big and normal clothes are pinching a bit. All my tops are riding up and my one pair of jeans need to visit the bin, permanently. Will have to go shopping on Thursday I think.

Been feeling Dollop move quite a bit, especially in the evenings and when I am in the bath. It is really reasurring and I love it.

Off to try and eat some lunch now.

16 WEEKS

Since my last entry I have started to feel a bit better. I may have a water infection but that isn't causing me too many problems. A wee sample has been sent off and I'm waiting for the results. I will have to wait until Monday for the results.

My pelvis injury seems to be just that, an injury. I know that my pelvis is unstable and it can't take a lot of punishment right now. The pain has nearly gone but I have a niggly feeling when I do certain things and I need to remain careful. I have been resting and nursing it since Monday and that seems to have done the trick. It is obviously a weak spot and I will note its progress.

I have also not felt the need to have my morning naps as much. It may have something to do with sleeping a bit better but I am still having horrible dreams.

Last night I dreamt I had a miscarriage and Dollop had to be removed, and there was lots of blood and tears. It wasn't very nice and then in another one, Ellis managed to get hold of a packet of chewing gum and he had hundreds in his mouth. Every time I took 5 out, 6 more would appear! It was very scary.

So far in this pregnancy there have been a few differences to my first one. Obviously the pelvis pain kicked in very early and I have had lots of colds this time too. My boobs haven't been anywhere near as painful and my baby bump seems to go up and down. I don't think I have filled out so much this time either. I mean my face, arms, bum, legs, neck and feet ballooned very quickly last time. I am more active I suppose and eating less than before as we aren't living with my parents. Mum did huge meals, healthy but lots of it and they had a "chocolate box"!

Also I think about the pregnancy a lot more than I did with Ellis. I think that has something to do with the fact that I am not really taking it for granted and I am waiting for each stage to kick in, if that makes sense. Can't really explain what I mean. With Ellis, we would keep forgetting but I suppose I have to be very careful with Ellis jumping about and the fact that my pelvis is bad has been a constant reminder too.

Rob is home for the next 4 days, and we have a busy weekend so it should be nice but will go fast.

Well, I'm now 16 weeks so here is my 16 week photos and measurements.

This time...



... last time.



Measurements:

Weight = 11st 10lb (+4lbs)
Tummy = 91cm (+6cm)
Upper arm = 27cm
Upper leg = 59cm (+2cm)
Ankle = 23.5cm
Neck = 32.5cm

INJURY - 15 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

Mum - Don't worry I'm okay, just a bad day. x



Midwife phoned just after 2pm to say that the physiotherapist is currently off on long term sick and that I shouldn't hold my breathe for an appointment. She will try and refer me to Southmead instead to see if I can get an appointment there. In the mean time I'm told to take Paracetamol and to keep my knees together! Great!

MOVEMENT? - 14 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

BAD BACK - 14 WEEKS

14 weeks today and I'm not feeling too bad. I over did it a bit today and my back is feeling the strain of carrying Ellis, bags, shopping and bending up and down.

Still waiting to feel it move but I can't wait.

When I lie on my back now I get a little hard lump which is reassuring, and I often lay my hand on it thinking back to the scan and picturing the little person waving back at us.

Boobs are still growing and nipples are very sore but that is all good I suppose.

Nothing else to report.

WAVING - 13 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

I now have an accurate date, thanks to my dating scan today. I am 13 weeks 4 days, which makes my due date 22nd May 2009.



Here are the scan pictures including the one where Dollop gave us a little wave to say hello. Click on the pictures to see the larger version.









Just as a comparison, below is Ellis' 12 week scan picture. He was 2 and a bit weeks younger than Dollop.



The pregnancy is already going so fast! I want to really try and enjoy every bit of it, especially as it might be my last time. I hope it isn't but we will have to see how things go.

Been getting loads of messages of congratulations and it is so nice. I love it. I'm going to make a note of them all for the scrap book.

Hopefully hear the heartbeat in a couple of weeks and then shortly after will feel it move. So exciting.

BUTTERFLIES - 13 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

This time tomorrow, we will be at the hospital either in having our scan or waiting for it.

I am so nervous this time. I keep getting butterflies in my tummy when I think about it. What if it only has one arm or some other deformity? When I had my scan with Ellis I wasn't that worried, just excited to see it. Wish I could feel the same this time.

Everyone keeps saying to me that it will all be fine, but they don't know that for sure. Things go wrong all the time.

All being well, I will attempt to scan on the pictures of Dollop and Ellis for a comparison.

Fingers and toes crossed.

12 WEEKS? - 12 WEEKS, 6 DAYS

From my calculations I think I am roughly 12 weeks today. The scan on Tuesday will hopefully confirm that but if not, then I will update and make any changes necessary.

I have updated bump watch picture and Dollop picture and below are my 12 week pictures and measurements.

12 weeks this time.



12 weeks last time.



Measurements:

Weight = 11st 11lb (+5 lbs)
Tummy = 89cm (+4cm)
Upper arm = 27cm
Upper leg = 58.5cm (+1.5cm)
Ankle = 23.5cm
Neck = 33cm (+.5cm)

Still feeling fine although I am aware that my weight gain has been rather rapid! Will have to keep an eye on that, except for tonight of course as I am having Chinese food with my Mummy friends.

CRITICAL - 12 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

I've reached quite a critical part of the pregnancy and so far I feel okay. Well I say okay, cause I'm not being sick or even feeling sick but for the last 2/3 days I've had quite a sharp pain on my right hand side, right over the area that was badly bruised from my c-section. I'm sure it is just muscles and stuff moving around but if it gets worse, I will go to see the midwife.

Boobs are getting much bigger now! My right one which is slightly bigger than the left is starting to poke out of the top of my bra now. Will have to get in the loft to find the bigger bras. I'm also going to need bigger jeans pretty soon. I am much bigger this time, doh!

Not long until the scan now which is good. Would be nice to know everything is progressing okay and to know how far gone I actually am.

Been being a bit dopey recently. Loosing me marbles so to speak. I don't really have any stories to tell but just generally been a bit slow on things.

Jaidan and Leighton came over today with their gorgeous brood. We had a lovely time and I really enjoyed chatting to Jai about what it is like second time around etc. I'm really excited but also scared. I am just going to enjoy the pregnancy for now, which so far, I am.

Yoga group again tomorrow. Hope it is as good as last week.

POT BELLY - 11 WEEKS, 6 DAYS

BETTER YOGA - 11 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

HORRID COLD - 11 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

Had a horrible cold since Tuesday so been trying to take it easy. Feeling much better today but not 100% yet. Ellis started coughing this morning so I think I may be in for a bit of hard work soon. Poor baby.

Dollop is doing okay I think. The pressure on my bladder is making me wee all the time, but not a lot comes out. Trying to improve my fluid intake too which is proving to be quite difficult, as I just forget all the time.

I did my wee sample for the doctors this week, which should tell me if I have a water infection or not. Not sure when I get the results.

I'm enjoying doing my blogging and I can't wait for the scan. It seems really close, now that we are in November. I haven't received a letter about the appointment yet so will chase midwife during the week if it hasn't arrived by then.

Still really excited and happy. I went to bed last night with all the children catalogues I could find and started doing lists of things I need to do and things I might need to get for Dollop. I know, I know, it is too soon but I just like thinking about it all.

Pelvis is really clicky but so far, not too much pain. Lower back pain has started over the last couple of days but that might be from sitting on my bum so much.

I will be trying to add a few more things to the website over the next couple of days. I need Rob's help with it so it might take a while. Have a vote in the new poll while you wait.

TOLD MUMMY FRIENDS - 10 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

TELLING THE PARENTS - 10 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

Unfortunately this video was too long and I had to split it into two. I hope it flows okay.





At the meal we did a quick round of interviews.

LAST YOGA - 10 WEEKS

DODGY - 9 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

Been feeling rather dodgy, pretty much all day every day. Obviously there are times when I feel okay but mostly I feel, tired, hungry and sick. It's exhausting.

I have put on weight already and I am looking rather round around my mid section. I know I have been eating way too much but I am hoping that once I feel better, that will all settle down.

I was originally thinking that I don't care how big I get but on second thoughts I would like to try and keep it to normal levels, plus I would like to have a massive baby bump and nothing else.

Tried to call the midwife yesterday to book a checking in appointment but there was no answer and no answering machine. It is rubbish around here for maternity care.

Had to tell Debs yesterday as she came over for a visit and asked how the baby making was going. I have decided not to lie about the pregnancy as I don't like the idea of it. So I told her the truth. She was really happy which was nice.

Really want to tell my family but we have that thing of who gets told first. Rob obviously wants his Mum to know first and I would ideally like to tell them both together but I can't see how we can do that by Monday. The reason it has to be done by Monday is that I am going to tell all my Mummy friends. I know it is still early days but they will all be together and it just seems like an opportune moment.

Pelvis hasn't been too bad the last couple of weeks, so fingers crossed it stays that way for a while. I do have yoga, line dancing and 2 dances this week so by Monday I might not be able to walk.

MORNING SICKNESS - 9 WEEKS

Not sure I did have morning sickness recently. I felt very sick for a long time but it did pass and I haven't been too bad recently. If I get really hungry and tired, then I do feel rough so I need to just keep eating regularly. I do think I had a stomach bug though as Rob was ill shortly after I was feeling better.

Been eating loads and loads of rubbish but when I feel better it will be easier to eat well. I'm not too worried about it for now. I have only put on 1 pound so far and Mum asked today if I had lost weight! Cool, the longer she doesn't notice, the better.

Need to tell the parents before 27th October as I will be telling my Mummy friends then as this seems to be the only date we can all get together before Christmas! I know it's before I am 12 weeks, but if anything was to happen, I would want to talk to them about it anyway. Just need to think of a way to tell the parents now and hopefully get them together to do it.

Going to ring the midwife next week and sort out an appointment as I know how busy they can be.

PELVIS PROBLEMS - 8 WEEKS, 1 DAY

TOLD YOGA LOT - 7 WEEKS

Well I think I was six weeks gone, yesterday. I have done pictures and figures just in case I am right.

A long video entry about telling my yoga girls and about some symptoms that have now arrived.



6 week picture this time.



6 week picture last time.



Measurements:

Weight = 11st 7lb
Tummy = 86.5cm
Upper arm = 27cm
Upper leg = 58cm
Ankle = 23.5cm
Neck = 32.5cm

All going well so far, just feeling very, very tired and bit worried about what I have let myself in for. Can't wait to tell everyone.

TIRED, UNDERSTATEMENT - 6 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

TO TELL, OR NOT TO TELL - 5 WEEKS, 6 DAYS

According to my date calculation, I am 6 weeks pregnant today. But according to pregnancy calculators on the Internet, I am only 5 weeks today.

I think the best thing to do for now until my weeks have been confirmed is to just do a diary about what is going on and then work the dates back later. It will mean that I have to take pictures every Thursday just to make sure I get the 6 week and 12 week pictures on the right day.

I had a quick listen to my Ellis 6 week diary and I said that I was very, very bloated last time. Don't seem to be too bad this time and my boobs are not sore at all. Last time if I knocked them with my arm while walking, it would kill!

I was also really tired and I am this time too.

My sweet tooth has returned! I constantly crave chocolate and puddings rather than my usual savoury foods. That isn't a good thing as I want to keep my weight gain to normal levels this time.

I am really thirsty all the time too and I have been getting headaches on and off.

I called the doctors this morning to make an appointment, but here they don't do a doctors appointment first, you just see the midwife when you are about 10 weeks. I asked if they do a 12 week scan or not and I was just told to speak to the midwife about it. Wont need to see her until end of October.

Going out with my Mummy friends on 15th November when I will hopefully be about 12 weeks preggers. This will be a nice time to tell them I think.

I have attached what I think is the 6 week photo but I will amend it accordingly once the scan has been done.

Went to see Mum yesterday and she said she thought it was about time that I had another baby. I came out with loads of reasons that I wasn't ready etc but it was very weird to think that I am already growing a baby! I so wanted to tell her.

I kept my pregnancy test like I did last time but the results have now gone! I will have to do another one which stays.

Weeing all the time but I think that is because I am drinking so much more. I am so thirsty. I have a bit of a cold at the moment anyway which is giving me a dry throat that obviously isn't helping.

The only bad thing about not having any obvious symptoms is that you are never sure if you are still pregnant. Then again, I wouldn't want to feel sick all the time either.

Been thinking that I might need to tell my yoga group as I don't really want to do anything that might harm the baby. I will see how it goes tonight. Don't really want to tell anyone yet.

6 week photo this time.



6 week photo last time.



The dates etc on this video are wrong, so please ignore that bit.

EXCITED - 5 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

Yesterday was amazing. I was still buzzing from the results and Rob and I had the day together, without Ellis, at Simon and Teresa's wedding, and we spoke about it quite a lot.

It was so nice having this little secret between us and Rob seems really excited. He touched my belly, kept saying about the 3 of us being there, talked about the fact that we are a family of 4, and was just generally thinking about it which was really, really good for me.

Rob said that he was quite excited for Ellis. I feel a bit sad for him as he will have no idea what is going on other than the fact that Mummy can't do all the usual things and that he will have to share me. I'm sure it will work out and be fine.

Mum and Dad are back from Spain tonight and I really want to tell them. It was so hard at the wedding as I wanted to tell everyone. In fact I nearly slipped up and told Nic just before the ceremony started. I went bright red as I tried to cover my tracks! She did actually ask us if we would start trying soon.

I had a couple of cuddles with Ella during the day and I now remember that I am rubbish with newish borns. They are just too floppy and stuff and I don't know how to hold them securely. I can't wait to hold mine though.

Having no symptons yet is the best!

Sally looked after Ellis yesterday and when she put him to bed she had to find the monitor. It was in our room right next to my pregnancy and birth book and the science book that I was reading about growing baby! She will put 2 and 2 together for sure. How am I going to get around that one. Think I'm just going to say that I found them recently and thought I would read up about ovulation and stuff, to get ready for when the time comes.

Can't believe I'm pregnant! It's wicked!

PREGNANT! - 5 WEEKS

We set the camera up to film the test result and if you look closely, it is actually showing positive before Rob even walks away!



We then tried to film our response but I am a total idiot and didn't press record!



I had completely convinced myself that I wasn't pregnant so I was very, very surprised to see the positive result. Happy, but shocked.

I interviewed Rob to get his initial response.



He then interviewed me. I went to bed shortly after but was unable to sleep. I wonder why?



Can't wait to tell everyone now, hope it sticks and it is all healthy and stuff.

NEW FIGURES/PICTURES - 5 WEEKS

I managed to set up the tripod to take some new 0/4 week pictures. I also did some new measurements which have changed slightly.

0 week this time.



0 week last time.



Measurements:

Weight = 11st 6lbs
Tummy = 85cm
Upper arm = 27cm
Upper leg = 57cm
Ankle = 23.5cm
Neck = 32.5cm

All the figures are less than before so I am going to use these as the starting point, even though I might be 4/5 weeks pregnant now.

DENIAL - 5 WEEKS

ANY DAY - 4 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

Any day now! My period is due now and so far I am still having normal discharge. I do feel like my period is coming though. I am bloated, moody, craving rubbish food, hot flushes and cramps. Still nothing to show for it yet though.

If I don't come on this week I will be soooooo surprised. I have convinced myself that I am not pregnant and I am just waiting for the period to arrive. It would be the best news if I am wrong, but I don't think so.

My weight remains at around 11st 7lb and I still haven't done any new photos. I must get Rob to do some.

Mummies afternoon is due to start any minute so I have to go and get the kettle and biscuits ready.

NORMAL - 4 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

Period is due any day now. Like I said before I would be totally surprised if I was pregnant. I haven't had any symptoms at all.

I still have normal discharge so that could be a good sign, and I did have a slight headache on Friday - Saturday. Boobs feel completely normal.

Fingers and toes crossed that I don't come on and I will do a test on Thursday if I haven't by then.

To be honest it would be okay if I wasn't as I am so enjoying just being with Ellis. I really want him to continue his groups and stuff and I want to give a newborn as much attention as possible. That would be easier if Ellis was a bit older.

Off to see Grandma this morning as she is 80 today!

Went to a party last night and had loads of nice comments about how slim I looked! It was really nice to hear. I am 11st 6lbs now. I don't want to go any lower but would like to tone up a bit. Still haven't done new 0 week pictures or measurements. Might try and do that later today.

BLUFFING GOD - 3 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

SILLY BILLY - 3 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

I wasn't going to write about how I feel and stuff because I don't want to look really stupid each month.

Basically I convince myself that I am not pregnant but then little things happen, such as cramping, or feeling sick like last night, and I then think, well maybe I am and I get all excited. I then tell myself again that I am not pregnant and I should stop being so silly and reading into everything that happens.

We are out this Saturday for Alex's 30th birthday party and we have decided that Rob has to drink so that it doesn't look too suspect. He seemed okay with this. Then again I might come on early like last month and I will be able to drink instead.

I haven't weighed for a few days now which is probably a good thing as I have just been eating loads!

I so hope I don't get morning sickness. Last night I felt so sick that I took a bowl to bed with me. But the thing was, I couldn't work out if I was hungry sick or sick sick, if that makes sense.

Due on roughly on Monday 15th, but could be slightly before or after. I wanna know now! I can't stand the waiting, it drives me insane.

EFFORT - 2 WEEKS, 6 DAYS

Well if we don't get pregnant this month, it isn't through a lack of effort!

It has been quite good fun but very tiring. One more day to go and then I think my ovulation dates are over.

Yesterday I had slightly different discharge (wallpaper paste) which is exactly what I had last time. I have tried so hard to not get my hopes up but I just can't help it.

I keep looking out for other signs. I am willing my boobs to hurt!

Looking at some websites yesterday it says that even if we had sex at exactly the right time, we still only have a 26% chance of being successful! I can't believe that! I hope it doesn't take us too long.

Jaidan and Leighton have now named their son, Jasper.

IDIOT! - 2 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

What a fool! I calculated my ovulation dates wrong so we are now 2 days in to O days.

All going well so fingers crossed.

WEIGHT 4 - 1 WEEK, 6 DAYS

I have finally reached my target weight of 11st 7 lbs. I started working at loosing weight on the 19th April when I was 13st 1lb and I finished on 27th August. I just need to maintain the weight and tone up all the bits that are a bit more wobbly than they used to be.

Going to do new 0 week pictures and figures to reflect the change in weight.

I think what helped with the last couple of pound was the fact that I had finished breastfeeding Ellis. This seems to have been the turning point to the last little bit. I was still eating and exercising the same so that is the only thing I can think of that has changed.

Not long until O Day again. Best build up Rob's energy supply!

BABY WILSON - 1 WEEK

Went to see Jaidan today and her new baby boy, not yet named. He was so tiny and cute. I don't remember Ellis being that small, ever, because I think you are just so busy trying to recover and get through each day.



Plus to start with, it is just a baby and you are just doing a job and trying to get as much rest as possible. I would like to think that I skip that part and move straight on to bonding with my new son/daughter. I think it's easier when their little characters start to show though.



Seeing Jaidan in pain from her c-section certainly brought back memories. It was awful. I couldn't walk, get up or down, move in bed or do anything really. It isn't the best way to start motherhood, or the first few weeks of your newborns life.



I can't wait to have another baby but I realise it will be very different this time and much harder with Ellis too. He is a really good boy but I can see from my visit today, that it will certainly be very hectic.



I am sure I am going to go for a natural birth now. I just think the recovery time after is so much better. I might not be able to sit down comfortably for a bit but it will be much better than recovering from a c-section.



Jaidan is at that point in breast feeding, where when they first latch on it really hurts and makes your toes curl under. It lasted for about 3 days for me. I was hoping next time would be easier but Debs and Jaidan have both said that it is just as hard. Ah well, I know what to expect.



Davina McCall on Big Brother just said Dollop! Then she said she loves that word, DOLLOP! Might be a sign!

FINGERS CROSSED - 5 DAYS

Period finished yesterday and it wasn't too bad. Not painful but quite heavy for a couple of days.

I think this month we wont just try on ovulation dates as I think it's a bit too clinical. But having said that, at least we put the effort in on those days. If we leave it to pot luck, I think it might take a very long time.

Feeling very drained today so I hope I'm not coming down with something.

Fingers and toes crossed that we manage to create a new life this month. Would be lush to add to the family soon. I don't want too big an age gap between kiddies.

I so hope it doesn't take 6 months or longer! I suppose I just need to be patient and take it each day/month as it comes.

RUBBISH - 1 DAY

Been feeling rather rubbish today. Period is a constant reminder that I'm not pregnant.

Think I have this virus thing that Ellis had. Sore throat, neck, head and stuff. Rob has it too.

Spent the day with Mum wanting to chat to her about it all but couldn't.

The last couple of days I've been going crazy getting the house tidy and a bit cleaner. It needs a really good spring clean really, like cleaning in cupboards and hoovering under all the furniture but I just can't do it all.

Rob is away on a stag do so I have the house to myself which is actually okay.

Wish we could come into some money. Would be nice to just feel financially secure and able to buy little things every now and then without worrying about the consequences. Rob is working hard for that.

DOWN

I was really down all day yesterday and chatting to Mum I really wanted to tell her why but couldn't.

In my last diary, Rob said I sounded like we had been trying for 6 months already with no success. But that is how it feels. I have been thinking and preparing since the beginning of April so it has been a long time for me.

Trying to feel and be a bit more laid back about it, and hopefully it will happen before Christmas.

I was hoping that the due date wouldn't be around Ellis' birthday as we have quite a bit on in August now and a new member would just add to the load. But then again I wouldn't complain if I got pregnant around that time anyway.

Rob is away this weekend which isn't that nice for me or Ellis, but hopefully it will do Rob some good to have some down time.

BOO! PERIOD!

FUNNY

Feeling really funny this morning. Hot flushes and period cramps. It feels like my period is coming! Oh no!

Rather strange feelings, dizzy one minute, okay the next. Been wanting to get a lie down but Ellis hasn't allowed me too.

Been peeing all day too! Perhaps I've increased my fluid intake and that's why. I'm certainly not used to going so often.

Boobs aren't tender. Last time that was my major symptom. I had the most tender boobs ever! Maybe because I am breast feeding still it wont be as bad.

Only 4 days to find out, possibly less if I come on before then.

Discharge is normal.

HURRY

No symptoms today, boo!

I've been feeling really tired and weeing all the time but that's about it. Hurry up Sunday!

Weighed this morning and I'm 11st 9lb, hurrah!

STRANGE

Feeling very strange today. I feel like my blood is boiling and I have a little furnace inside, and I just feel rather lethargic. Could be a cold coming, could be a build up to my period, or I could be pregnant!

Although I am reasonably convinced that I am anyway, I can't be 100% sure as there are a lot of bugs and stuff going around at the moment.

Rob and I agreed that we will do a test on Sunday night if I haven't come on by then. I can't wait that long!

CONVINCED

I am getting more and more convinced that we have been successful. My boobs are starting to become tender, boobs are slightly swollen, my nipple has gone purple twice now and it hasn't done that since I was pregnant the first time. I have also had a few twinges and pains today which could be implantation.

Will hopefully find out next Sunday. I have to wait until then as Rob is away on a stag do. I hate waiting. I want to know now! I am quite sure though.

Rob asked me tonight if I really did think I was. I said I really do this time. I will be gob smacked if I'm not.

The thing is, that even if I am, it is such early days and so much can go wrong or happen in the next 10 weeks. It's really scary but there isn't much point in dwelling on it.

Can't wait to talk about it with my friends.

Well happy and excited but worried about the changes ahead. How will I cope? How will it effect things with Ellis? I hope it all turns out good.

I love the fact that I think about it all the time too. I was worrying that I wouldn't have time for it. That hasn't been a problem so far as it's all I can think of.

Haven't been able to stop eating since Ellis' party on Sunday but I will do my best to get back into eating well and doing more exercise. I will post an update soon.

OVULATION OVER

4 DAYS IN

OVULATION TIME - 0 WEEKS

Well, it's D day. Actually I'm going to call it O day. I worked out my ovulation dates and they fall from 31st July to 6th August. Today, one year ago was my due date with Ellis. Very strange to think that the next baby may be conceived now.

I did weigh but wasn't happy with the results. It said 11st 10lb but I don't think I have put on any weight. Never mind, that is the figure I will use for my measurements.

I have been feeling like I am ovulating today. I get period cramps so I know something is happening in there. I sent Rob a text saying get home quick! ;o)

Been chatting with various people over the last couple of weeks and they have all asked if I'll be trying again soon and I have said that I am not ready and that I think I would like to wait a bit longer. It might then be a little bit of a surprise for some. I don't know what the big deal is with trying to make it a surprise for everyone. Surely it is just about me and Rob and just keeping it quiet until we know we are past are safety date.

It will be hard to keep it quiet this time. We wont be able to take Ellis to the scan appointments so someone will have to look after him and it will be tricky to come up with a reason.

I'm really excited and can't wait! Still taking my folic acid and omega 3 which will also help Ellis.

Right then, the figures.

Weight = 11st 10lbs
Tummy = 88cm - that is around my belly button.
Upper arm = 28.5cm
Upper leg = 59cm - Huge trunks!
Ankle = 25cm
Neck = 33 cm - I know it's strange to do this one but I got really big last time.

0 week picture this time and last time.

PREPERATION

WEIGHT 3

I'm not happy! Tried to weigh again on Saturday morning but the scales wouldn't give me the same reading 3 times in a row. Tried again on Sunday and I wasn't pleased with the results. 11st 11lb! I know I haven't got bigger. My clothes are looser. It must be that I have built up some muscle which is heavier than fat.

The thing is, is that because I was so down about it, I ate tons and tons all weekend, and now I feel guilty about it. Need to go on a mission, especially as Ellis' party is 2 weeks away.

Fertile days this month are 31st July - 6th August. If we were to get pregnant straight away then the baby would be due at the end of April.

Been reading a wicked book with real pictures of everything that happens inside, from before conception to the growing baby. It's really, really interesting.

Will get Rob to do 0 week picture on 31st July.

Looking forward to being pregnant again but worried that I will have problems with my pelvis again. Hopefully if the baby is in the right position and I don't put on too much weight, it should be better.

3RD PERIOD

OVULATION DATES

Well the weight is coming down. Weighed in on Saturday at 11st 10lb. Only 2lbs to go to get to my pre-Ellis weight and 3lbs to reach my target.

I have decided that we are going to start trying at the end of July. I don't know why I have decided this but I just have. I think maybe because the weight is coming off and I can't wait any longer. Rob seems to think that because we didn't have any trouble last time, that we wont this time. I feel differently.

Been reading about ovulation dates and stuff like that and I am currently waiting for my 3rd period since they came back again, to work out my ovulation dates. To be honest I can tell anyway when I am. I get like little period cramps midway through my cycle.

Had a couple of days of not eating that well so need to get back on it. I need to do some food shopping really.

WEIGHT 2

Weighed myself and I have remained the same, 11st 12lb. That is still really good progress and I hope to loose another pound this week. Thing is, I made a cheesecake yesterday so I will have to try and resist!

ZERO WEEK PICTURE

I took these pictures by propping the camera up on top of the computer monitor. They aren't very good so I will get Rob to do some new ones nearer the time we start trying.

OMEGA 3

Recently I have been asking Rob if he wants to start trying now rather than waiting. I'm just really eager to get on with it as it might take a while this time. He just says it isn't long to wait now anyway and also I haven't been taking folic acid for 3 months. He thinks it will take 3 months this time.

I have also bought some Omega 3 as I don't eat enough fish. This will benefit Ellis too as he is still feeding.

I got my pregnancy and birth book down from the loft this morning and was reading into all the technical stuff with regards to when I will be most fertile etc. I never really wanted to do it this way but I think that it would take even longer if we just did it at random. I don't think Rob will go for it, just doing it on certain days of the month etc. but we will see. I might just not tell him.

Feeling good and much fitter although the scales we have aren't very accurate, I am still loosing weight. Weighing day tomorrow so I will post my results then.

I've started my pros and cons list for c-section v natural delivery and will post the results soon although I am pretty sure that I will go for natural delivery. I just think it is the right thing to do. The recovery time is better and I will be able to drive.

Still really excited and can't wait!

COMPARISON

CANT WAIT!

WEIGHT

Weighed this morning, even though I am only trying to weigh on Saturday mornings. I was 12st 2lb! Hurrah, but I don't think it will stick for the next couple days. We shall see.

ELLA

Went to see Nic in hospital with her little Ella who is gorgeous by the way. I was really broody until I stepped onto the ward and the smell, heat and sounds brought it all back to me. I really didn't realise how horrid it was back then but then I suppose I was just caught up in the moment. I think it is true that I was in shock a bit really.



Nic is doing really well. It doesn't seem to have fazed her at all. She had time to put make-up on and straighten her fringe when we went to see her on the weekend. She also had a house full of people and I just wouldn't be able to cope with that. Especially second time around, Ellis will need time to adjust so we have to take it easy to start with.



I do still really want more children but what if they aren't like Ellis? I have been so lucky with him that I hope the next one doesn't unsettle the nice balance we have home here.

I am slowly getting myself back into some sort of fitter shape and I do feel better for it. Do I really want to go through all that again! After Ellis was delivered I remember being really big and very swollen. It wasn't very nice. I also have the decision over c-section or natural. There are pros and cons to both and I just have to way them all up. I'll make my mind up nearer the time.

Yoga is going well and I hope to keep that up in the long term, even if it means changing classes in the early part of the pregnancy. I will have to tell Vivien straight away so that I don't do myself or Dollop any harm.

I wonder how I could tell people this time around? I think to be honest it will be a lot harder to hide. For one thing I am drinking again so as soon as I stop, people will notice. I might slow up and stop soon anyway so that might make it a bit easier, plus if we go out Rob will have to drink and I will drive. Also no muscle tone will mean a bigger belly in the early days. I know Mum watches my weight quite closely so she will see it anyway. Last time I put on quite a few pounds in the first trimester so I shouldn't think it will be easy to hide. Ah well, we will have to see how it goes. I would like it to be a surprise but I think most people will be expecting it.

I can't wait to feel Dollop move. I really miss that feeling. I will need to cherish every bit of it as it might well be the last time I will feel it all and experience it. Sad really but I suppose you have to stop one day. I don't want 18 kids like the Dugger family!

We are into June now so only 2 months until we start trying. If I can get my weight down to 11st 7lb before then, I think we will start sooner. I'm currently 12st 6lb so a little way to go yet. I may not even make it in the next 2 months. Rob is ready to go so it is just me really.

I really do hope it is another boy and I'm not trying to bluff God. Perhaps I should stop saying it or I will end up with a girl. I would be really pleased to have a girl but I would want to buy her loads of girly things and we just couldn't afford it. I know I sound like a broken record but the money thing really bothers me, especially now that I am not earning.

BOY PLEASE

I am still trying to get my body back into some sort of pre-Ellis state. I am eating much better and slowly loosing the pounds. Weight is currently 12st 6lb and I am aiming for 11st 7lb by the end of July. I think I can do it.

Mum has already started with the bluffing me to see if I will bite. The most recent conversation was that Mum said she thinks I will only have Ellis. I play along and wind her up that she is probably right, and that I am finding having one hard enough let alone 2. Little does she know that I can't wait to have a bigger family. I think 2 may be enough though but we will have to wait and see. I know Rob isn't keen to have anymore and I'm not sure if that is for financial reasons or not.

Money is very tight at the moment yet we don't seem to be able to change our standard of living. We are eating up all of our savings and it wont be long before it's all gone. Not much I can do about it apart from go back to work but I don't really see that as the best option. I didn't have Ellis for someone else to bring him up 70% of the time.

Jaidan is having a 4d scan done next week and I think I would really love to have that done next time but it costs £190 and we just couldn't afford that.

I really do want a boy next time. The reason being that I would love to buy a girl all new girly things and we just don't have the extra cash for it. So it would be much easier to have a boy and just use all the things that we have.

I'm still feeling really excited about being pregnant again. I hope it is a good one as I couldn't bare the thought of being really sick and having a bad pelvis again while taking care of a toddler. It will be lush though. Hopefully I wont get so big next time.

Went to see Nic in hospital with her new daughter and my God did it hit home! It was so strange to look at her and think that I was in the same situation less than 10 months ago. It almost feels like an outer body experience, when I look back at my memories it is like I am looking in on someone else going through it all. Things will be different next time as Rob will have Ellis to sort out too and I will hopefully be home sooner than a week and will have 2 children to care for. How do you juggle your time with them? I'm not worried about the house so much, it's spending quality time with them that matters the most.

I wonder what it will be? I wonder what it will look like? I wonder how I will get on this time? I wonder how I will cope with 2? I wonder how long it will take to get pregnant? Only time will tell I suppose.

WAFFLE, WAFFLE

1ST PERIOD, YUCK!

OH NO!

HERE WE GO AGAIN!

And so it begins...