FOGGY - 7 WEEKS, 2 DAYS OLD

I have a knot in my stomach a frog in my throat and for some reason everything seems kind of foggy today.

Last night went okay. Leo slept from 7:45pm to 3:15am which was brilliant.

I feel so unprepared for today, I'm not my usual organised self and nothing is falling into place. I'm sure I am making more of it then there is.

Last night I was sat with Rob and I said goodnight and I will see you, not tomorrow but the next day. It just suddenly hit me that I was gonna be on my own for all that time with 2 young children. All of a sudden it just felt so daunting and scary. I shook it off and went to bed but the feeling is still slightly haunting me today.

I need Rob around a lot more. I need him to take care of me, but it just isn't possible right now as he has to work to support us. It is a wonderful but tough time to have had baby Leo, and I only hope that the sacrifices being made now make up for the future positives.

I'm so grateful for the support of my friends and my Mum, they have been brill and often offer to help out.

I really don't want to complain or sound needy as I am a strong women doing the best job I can at raising my children. I just wish I could do it all and remain in high spirits.

I'm sure it is just one of those days, and I will watch it pass me by.